Beginning a new chapter…

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could just skip the introductory pages of a book and dive right into the juicy parts? That’s exactly what I’m going to do here. I could begin with a long introduction of who I am, where I’m writing from, what forms my core beliefs, and what I hope to accomplish… but who has time to read all of that AND the good stuff? I’m tired just thinking about it!

So here we are in a new chapter. Let’s call this chapter, “teaching and unteaching”. That’s a phrase I hear often from my son’s behavioral therapist. She tells me, “We teach them a skill and we practice doing it the same way every time. Then, we try to make it less robotic — we ‘unteach’ them.” That’s where this chapter is beginning — in the ‘unteach’ mode.

In 5 1/2 years of speech, occupational, physical, and behavioral therapy, I’ve learned a lot to help my 8-year-old develop essential skills and minimize behaviors that are harmful to himself and others. In this socially distanced, remote learning reduced physical contact, limited interaction era, a new challenge has emerged. Perhaps I shouldn’t call it ‘new’, so much as a pre-existing need that’s become increasingly more obvious until it’s taken center stage. It’s hard to name it in a single word. It exists in the top three levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Maslow theorized that the more a person’s physiological needs were met, the more the individual would seek to satisfy their remaining needs: Safety, Esteem, and Social (love and belonging), and Self-Actualization. In an article published by the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, they noted how COVID-19 has impacted Social and Esteem; however, this study is based on adult populations, not those of children.

While my not-so-wee one still benefits from each of the therapies he attends, his dad and I have been increasingly concerned about his emotional and mental health. We still value, practice, and implement the skills we learn from each therapist, but we also see his need for unscripted, non-educationally focused conversation, peer interaction, and organic learning.

As an immune-compromised, twice-exceptional child with learning and neurodevelopmental disabilities and gifted intellect, our son was overschooled for over a year before COVID-19 shut the world down. We had previously maintained his needs for friendships and belonging and opportunities to build self-esteem and grow into his own person with facilitated play dates and group events. When virtual learning and social connection took off, we increased our reliance on these opportunities to help our little boy find his place and his tribe. We found something missing.

We frequent sites like Outschool and Eventbrite, where we search for new and creative ways for him to interact with peers as normally as one can whilst being miles apart and looking into a digital device. Due to things like program funding and registration requirements, most classes or events have a specific agenda. Usually, this leads to limited child-to-child conversation and instructor-led content. For those seeking educational supplements, this may be expected and appreciated. It wasn’t filling the void for our son.

Enter: Resilient Kids.

Continued in Part 2, Unscripted Adventures in Resiliency…